Question For You Mom's

So I need some motherly advice, Moms. Jack hasn't used a pacifier for 11 months now. He has no interest in them. However, he loves going to be sucking on a bottle. Even if it's empty he still wants one to fall asleep. I don't want his teeth to rot from sucking on the bottle when he falls asleep, so what do I do? He won't suck on a pacifier, but that boy loves himself a bottle. Any suggestions?

Ghost Tree

Jack is so sick with a cold. He's covered in mucus and sneezing like crazy. Last night was rough for him. While Kevin and I were at dinner, Aunt Jessica had prepared him a lovely dinner. Sadly, as Jack became tired during dinner, he rubbed his eyes. Little did he know, his hands were covered in spaghetti sauce so he rubbed it in his eyes! Then he starts screaming so Jessica is trying to wash it out of his eye but he keeps rubbing them from the pain. I feel so bad for him.

Once we got home, he was still awake in his crib. He was snorting from all the mucus up his nose. I gave him a few squirts of saline spray which I hope helped. Now that I'm awake my nose is all clogged and I have a migraine. Today is going to be a long day.

Ok, so even though this has nothing to do with Jack, I still wanted to tell you about the Ghost Tree Invitational that Kevin took me to last night. It's this charity event that his company throws every year. All the fancy restaurants come to this fancy golf course and you get to drink wine and beer and eat all the fancy food you want while wearing fancy clothes. So, we get there, and of course I just had to wear 3 inch heels. Guess who's feet were swollen in about 30 seconds. Yeah, me. Then, we go to every single restaurant booth for food. Kevin had elk burgers with bacon and meat on skewers and meat on meat and meat meat meat. Guess what I had! NOTHING! This was a non-vegetarian affair apparently. So I didn't eat anything all day because I thought I'd be eating all night. Oooooh no! I got to watch Kevin eat! However, I did get to hold his two other plates while he ate what was on the plates he was holding. And beer and wine? No thank you. I did however get a Pepsi and two lemon torts the size of quarters.

While we're walking around schmoozing with all the rich folk, Kevin sees someone he knows and screams "WHAT UP!" He scares the hell out of everyone within a five mile radius with his booming voice. After he said hello to them, we kept walking and I start to quietly yell at him that this was not the type of event you scream at. The moment (seriously) I say that, someone who knows Kevin who was not present at his "WHAT UP!" fiasco screams "HEY KEVIN!" scaring the Hell out of everyone again. I'm like, "Please don't encourage him!"

The program that Kevin designed naturally had a list of sponsors in it. I was looking for Tommy Bahama but Kevin said they weren't a sponsor. I thought that was strange since EVERY SINGLE MALE had a Tommy Bahama shirt on except Kevin. I'm going to have to look into buying Tommy Bahama stock because apparently his Hawaiian polo shirts are quite popular amongst the wealthy. This has got to be an omen or something because I've never felt more like I was in Hawaii then last night, and I've even been to Hawaii!

Oh, and the silent auction you ask? Kevin wouldn't let me within 100 feet of it. All I wanted to do was check it out a little but he was not about to let me bid $550 for a massage. It's for charity, Honey! So, alas, I did not walk away with any souvenirs.

Alright, that's all for now. Here's the only picture I got out of the entire night since someone is a cheese monkey and made a face in EVERY picture we took. I'm on my tippy toes and he's slouching down.

The Temper Tantrum

Dear Mothers,

Remember the first time your wee-one had their first real temper tantrum? Well, Jack had his for the first time yesterday, and let me tell you, I almost sold him on eBay after that experience. Now, Jack has had little fits before, but there has always been a reason like a sore tooth or he was hungry. But yesterday, well, lets just say I had to call my own mother and threaten to send her Jack because he was such a monster!

Ok, so the first errand I had to run yesterday was going to the bank. Being that is was not only Friday, but it was right before the three-day weekend, so naturally the bank was swamped. We wait in line for 15 minutes or so, and get to the front. I start to explain to the teller that I needed to cash my check and withdraw some money. Of course, karma gave me the brand new teller just to slow things down. Oh that karma, she's a real kick in the pants sometimes. Anyway, Jack is in his stroller and starts to scream bloody murder. I lean over to give him his bottle (the cure for everything!) and he throws it, and starts to kick his legs and then flinging his arms to hit me. I was like "Oh no you did not!" so I told the teller I would need to take him outside and I would just come back in. As I turn around, EVERYONE is staring at me like, "Oh look at her. She can't control her child" so I look at all of them like, "Go ahead and stare while I go key your car."

Ok, so we go outside and he automatically stops being a monster. I rub his head for a few minutes and just make him feel good. Then we go back inside. We start to wait in line again and just as we get to the front, temper tantrum time! At that point I just walked out and put him back in the car. So, I decided to just go through the drive-thru. When I pull up, the snatch of a teller tells me I need to come inside to do the transaction and that I filled my slip out wrong. I told her that I was the mother with the screaming child who was just in there and that their teller filled out the slip so it's not my fault it was wrong. She said she would help me, "just this once". I wanted to tell her some choice words but I never mess with people who have access to my money.

Ok, so now we are off to the post office. We get inside, wait in line, which is longer the the bank line, and Jack starts another tantrum. So, I take him out of the stroller and hold him. He starts to calm down and sniffle, then puts his head on my shoulder. The entire post office goes "Awwwwww" at him. All I could do was glare and think "Any of you want him?! He's yours!" Oh he was so frustrating yesterday.

Today he seems to be much happier. Waking up at 6:30am screaming and sitting on my face. What a treat!

Stairs... Now We Just Built a Word, We Built It, We Built It!

First off, if you haven't seen World Word yet, you need to turn on your local PBS station and get on that.

Secondly, have you ever "misplaced" your baby only to find him at the top of the stairs? This is the latest phenomenon here at the Reese/Barnum residence. Which is also why we have a brand new baby gate at the bottom of the stairs.

The other night, Kevin was teaching Jack how to climb the stairs. He's always trying to get Jack to do wild boy things with him, and although I objected to him teaching Jack stair climbing techniques, Kevin thought it would be a good thing for a little boy to learn. Well, the other day, Jack's birthday actually, Jess and I were in the kitchen, Muffin was locked outside so she wouldn't eat Jack, and Kevin was out getting Port of Subs. Jack was crawling around with the balloon attached to him (so everyone would know who the birthday boy was!) and he headed down the hall to play with the doorstop. Ya know, the kind that go BONG! when you flick them. Jack loves that, and there are two next to each other right next to the stairs that make different BONG! noises so he loves to sit there and flick them. So as we are prepping the food, the BONG!ing stops. Jess and I go over there to see why and there is no Jack! We look up and he is sitting at the top of the stairs laughing! AHHHH! Of course, me being the calm and collective mother that I am, I scream and panic, run up the stairs and hold him telling him how sorry I am. He could have fallen down and broken him neck! I get all teary eyed just thinking about it.

So, Kevin went to Target and got a nice new baby gate. One where dog snouts can't fit through, and babies can't get up stairs. Where's the bubble wrap when you need it?

One, Two, Cha Cha Cha!

August 8th, 2008: Opening day for the Olympic games. This day was chosen by the Chinese because the number eight is lucky, hence the Olympics starting on 08/08/08. 

My Aunt Linda has been saying for a few months now, "Chris, that boy will be walking before he's one! I guarantee it!" I kept telling her to stop teasing me, but low and behold, on the lucky day of 08/08/08, Jack took his very first steps! 

We were at my brother's house playing with Will & Pippa. Will, being such an advanced tot, has already started taking his first steps. After my mom told me that, Jack stood up, took a step, looked down, looked up, took a second step, looked at me, smiled, and then a third step! And at step number three he got a little top heavy and fell. But he was ok and happy that he made it so far! I am so proud of my little (and by little I mean 29 pounds) man! 

Now that he is beginning to walk, this parenting thing is going to get easier, right? Wait, why are you all laughing at me?

These are the actual shots from Jack's first steps!

Miracle Grow

About two weeks ago, Jack was playing with me in the master bedroom where our computer and desk are. Jack was standing completely upright underneath the desk and had about half an inch of room before his head would touch the under part of the desk. Today, Jack went under the desk to play, and I noticed he now has to crouch to fit under it because he's too tall! Can you believe how much he's grown in just that short amount of time? I guess because I see him daily I don't really notice it. Why can't he stay small? He's breaking his mother's heart.

Origami

You try looking at that face and telling him "no".

Kevin and Jessica always tell me that I spoil Jack. I can't help it, I look into his big brown eyes and I fold like origami for him. He's so sweet and when he makes that little whimper noise, how can I not give him exactly what he wants?

This morning I am playing on the computer and he crawls up to me, pulls himself up, and puts his arms out. He then makes a little whimper and his eyes get real big and watery. "He wants me to love him and cuddle him!" I think to myself. WRONG! The moment I bring him up, the teary eyes go dry, he smiles, then he turns around and starts pounding on the keyboard. My own baby knows how to play me!

So, even though he is spoiled (which I need to stop or he'll end up one of those annoying bratty kids in the store you just want to smack yourself), it's well deserved. You try looking at that baby without giving him anything he wants. Trust me, it's pretty hard to deny him.

Jack's Way or the Highway!

I remember last year when Jack was born, he was so sweet! He would just lay there like a big potato, and he'd never cause his mother any grief. Lately, however, my little potato has grown into a giant sized pumpkin who wakes up every morning thinking to himself, "How can I make my mommy crazy today?"

To get a diaper on Jack is like trying to bring peace to the middle east... IMPOSSIBLE! If I don't have a bottle or a rad toy handy when he needs a diaper on, well, then that boy will be naked. I tell him, "I am the alpha!" and he just fights me. I hold him down so I can get it on and he screams bloody murder at me! And this boy loves to be naked just as much as his mother. If I'd let him hang out all day with no clothes on, he'd totally do it. He hates it when I try to get clothes on him. Then again, if I could get away hanging out naked all day, I'd totally do it! We are a lot alike in that aspect. Anyway, here is a picture of Jack from yesterday after his bath. He was so mad at me when I put his clothes on him: 

Another thing this wonderful little dumpling likes to do is play with technology. Every morning I get onto the computer and there is Jack right behind me trying to reach the keyboard. He can't just push the buttons... No, he has to pound them until they pop off the keyboard.... where he then tries to eat them. Here's what I am looking at right now:

Sigh, Jack just made me a present in his diaper... Until tomorrow my friends....

Ouch!

So, I took Jack to get his vaccinations today. Let me tell you, in Bend they do things a lot different around here and I LOVE it! I called the health department last week to inquire about what I needed to do so I could get Jack vaccinated. In Reno, it is a walk-in at the health department where you sit for 4-6 hours with disgusting people only to be told you make too much money to qualify for the shots at a cheaper cost even though you are the only provider and a single mother. Here in Bend, it was by appointment only so we got right in. Their health department was GORGEOUS! You could eat off the floor it was so clean. The nurse wasn't some bitter old hag who hated her job. She was so sweet and kind, and the same goes with the receptionist staff. And the people who were in the waiting room with me were clean with all of their teeth. It was a miracle! Also, they told me it didn't matter what my income was, it was $15 no matter who you are. $15?! I paid $196 for Jack in Reno and my insurance wouldn't cover it. Incredible!

Poor Jack-Jack though, he got three shots today and was so sad. He just looked at me like, "Mom, why are you holding me down? Why are you doing this to me? I thought you loved me!" so of course I started to cry. Once the nurse was done with the shots, Jack stopped crying and cuddled up to me and fell asleep. I, of course, kept crying.

On a side note, four people at the health department told me, "Whoe! That's a big boy!" What a shocker!

Stay Puft Marshmallow Man

So, this baby diet is a lot harder then I thought it would be. Like, yesterday we are in Target and Jack starts fussing. So, I give him the other half of his bottle from breakfast. He finishes that and throws his bottle at me, then starts to scream. Great, I'm one of those mothers who can't control their children. So what do I do? I just give him a graham cracker. Isn't that what I wanted to stop doing? I know he was hungry, I should have packed fruit or something healthier. Or try to distract him with a toy. Arg, I am going to have to figure this out before Jack becomes the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man from Ghost Busters. 

Jack going to his Senior Prom circa 2024.

The Michelin Man

For the most part, Kevin, Jack, and I are in good health. None of us have any diseases or illnesses, however all three of us are a little on the "fluffy" side. Kevin and I have been talking about wanting to lose weight together for seven months now (I've been saying it since I was 9 months pregnant, "I have got to drop 30 pounds!" Luckily I lost 15 pounds minutes after Jack was born). And although Jack's doctor said he didn't need to lose weight, he is rather large for his size (He is in the 100th percentile for his height and weight at this age, and 95th percentile for his head). Could it be the pizza, Oreos, frosting, banana cake, and all the other naughty food I give him? Yeah, probably. I am totally to blame for Jack being so chunky.

Yesterday we went to Costco and although about every person who looked at him admired how adorable he was, several people said, "AW! He's so fat!" I know fat babies are so cute, but as he gets bigger, it won't be as cute. Aside from it not being cute to be obese at 5 years old, I am concerned the path I have put him on could result in childhood diabetes or other illnesses as he gets older. 

So, although I won't be putting Jack on a diet to lose weight, I am going to change what I feed him. Kevin is on board with me and we are both going to try to shed our extra pounds by this October. Why October? Have you seen my Halloween costumes? I wear more to the beach then at Halloween, and my booty is not Halloween ready.

Kevin wants to lose 25 pounds, I want to lose 7 (easier said then done with the way I eat) and Jack will be on a "no candy and pizza" diet. He will get more of the baby foods, yogurts, and other healthy foods instead of the quick fix of a graham cracker or cookie. I am hoping with him learning to walk soon that it will also help with his little rolls. 

So, say goodbye to the Michelin Man, and say hello to a much healthier, happier, baby! 

Standing... Standing!!! Ouch! Falling... Falling!!!

This is Jack at 2am the other night when he decided to wake up and was in need of some cuddles. Such a prince!

Jack has been practicing every day to stand but just can't seem to let go of whatever is bracing him. Aunt Jessica got him to do it by saying "Yay Jack!" and clapping, so then he let go of her and started clapping. But when he realized that nothing was holding him up, he came to a crash. The bigger they are, the harder they fall! So, for now, couches, walls, and aunt's will just have to keep helping him until he's ready. I'd love for him to be able to walk because my back is killing me, but then I realized the sooner her walks, the sooner he's going to try to get away and get into trouble. And don't even try to tell me that that sweet little tot wouldn't try to get into trouble. He's a boy and boys mean trouble!

P.S.

In regards to my last blog, here's a little addition that just happened 1 minute ago:

Aunt Jessica is watching Jack right now while I work on some ebay stuff and she just said, "What do you have in your mouth? What is it? Oh geeze! Wood chips! We need to irrigate your mouth!" I went to the top of the stairs and asked where the wood chips came from and as of right now, we have no idea.

What Do Legos, Door Stoppers, and Keychains All Have In Common?...

....They've all ended up in Jack's mouth without us noticing. And because my little angel pie is so good at sneaking things in there, I've decided I need to get CPR/First Aid certified. I have no clue what to do if Jack starts to choke. I always assumed since Aunt Jessica is a nurse, she'd just do something, but, she's not always going to be home so I'm going to need to learn it myself. 

Last night Jack was playing with my car keys. It's one of those Tiffany & Co. keychains that has a ball on the end that you unscrew to get your keys on. Who knew my little prodigy could unscrew things? I sure didn't. So when I went over there, the ball to the keychain was missing. For some reason I thought smacking Jack in the back of the head would help and guess what! It came flying out of his mouth!

Same thing happened not too long ago with Kevin. He and Jack were playing with the huge legos, ya know, the ones that can't fit in your mouth. What we didn't know was there were three tiny legos in the set which Jack found all on his own without telling Kevin. After the boys were done playing Kevin put him down for a nap. When Jack woke up, Kevin went to get him and noticed he was chewing on something. So, he stuck his fingers in there and low and behold, a lego!

I had no idea my tot would be so curious! Looks like I'm going to need to step it up a notch. 

Since when did babies become so hard?

These past two days with Jack have been the longest two days of my life, and I'm only nine hours into day two.

Now that Jack is older, he is requiring a lot more attention then he was before. He's also very curious, and it doesn't help that he can crawl 60 miles a minute and can walk with furniture. Of course, all of that was to be expected, I just didn't realize how much! This morning I even rolled over, looked at Kevin and said, "Honey, send Jack to the Lynch's. I need some sleep!"

Jack has this incredible fascination with electronics. I don't know if all babies do, or if maybe he's so into them because Kevin is, but holy cow, this kid is an electric shock waiting to happen. Between Kevin, Jessica, and I, we are constantly re-baby-proofing the house. And the things he is trying to put in his mouth... today alone he tried a feather, a lotion bottle, a soda can (that he was able to knock off the desk), and the digital camera. Who tries to eat a digital camera?! I'll tell you who: Jack! All of those lovely toys you all bought him... pssh! Who wants toys? Toys are for babies. Jack wants laptops and iMacs.

He also doesn't like to be alone. So, every morning when I take my shower, I bring him into the bathroom with me and shut the door (mind you, if the door is not 100% shut, Jack can find a way to open it and escape, hence why there is a baby gate now at the top of the stairs to avoid an accidental flying baby). Once I start the water, he bear crawls to the tub, stands up, and likes to watch the water. Even when I close the shower curtain, he opens it right up just to make sure I'm still there. He now has earned the nick-name "Peeping Tot". So, I got this "brilliant" idea this morning (about as brilliant as kicking a ball in his face) to bring him into the shower with me! I thought, he loves baths, so he'll love a shower, right? Right?! WRONG! The moment he got in with me he was miserable. Then he pooped on me and in the shower. Followed by blood curdling crying. Yes, he's learned that regular crying won't get my attention, so he has to act like he's being put into an oven so I come running to him.

At the moment, he is refusing to let me put a diaper on him, so as I am writing this I have a screaming naked baby sitting on me trying to take over the keyboard. So, I try to give him his toys or something to eat, but does he want any of that? No, he wants the keyboard. I unplug the keyboard and give it to him, what does he do? Not play with the keyboard, but now wants my cup of coffee. Hot, scalding coffee is where I draw the line. Next, I try to play with him, does he want that? No, of course not, "Why play with mom when I can run into to kitchen and and slam into things?" We are also enforcing a "no touching the oven" rule. Even if it is off, we don't want him to touch it because he doesn't understand when it is on, it will burn. I tell him, "No, Jack." and I move his hands. Guess what he did? Laughed at me and touched the oven again. Yes, I am being laughed at by a 10 month old.

Remember when I use to tell everyone what a good sleeper he was and how he'd sleep through the entire night? Yeah, I remember those days. Those were wonderful days. First off, he won't go to sleep unless Jessica or Kevin put him to bed. If I try to, oh no, that won't happen. Last night, he woke up a million times. I tried rubbing his back, rocking him, baby orajel in case it was his teeth, and singing to him (of course he screamed louder since I'm no American Idol). Finally, I just brought him in the room and let him crash in the bed with us. 5:30am rolls around and it's time to pound daddy in the face and fart in mommy's.

So, moral of the story, do NOT let this cute face fool you! As adorable and kissable as it looks, he has a plot.

Innocent baby? Oh I think not.

Now I know who ate all of the avocados! At $2 a piece, not acceptable!

He may look sweet and cute but it's just a trick to get your graham crackers!

Sleeping beauty... you'd like to think so.

It's so hard being a baby!