Lesson #3 in Raising a Boy: Boys Love Poop!

Look, I've read the book and I'm well aware that Everyone Poops, but that doesn't mean I don't think it is gross. Apparently, however, my offspring has a different opinion on the matter, and to him it is the best thing since sliced bread... Allow me to explain:

Yesterday morning was like every other morning we have. Jack wakes up, Kevin changes him and brings him to our room for family cuddle time (which has turned into Jack hitting us until we play with him time), followed by Jack getting a bottle. A pretty good routine that we have down. After that I usually get up and blog which I did. Remember yesterday's blog when I wrote Jack made a present for me? Well, he did. And it was unlike any present before. 

When I was writing my blog I could smell Jack had a dirty diaper, and it was riper then usual, but I wanted to finish my blog up as it was short and I thought Babycakes could wait 5 minutes. SO WRONG. (Here's a lesson for you new mothers: If your baby smells and you think they can wait for just a second, don't! Drop whatever you are doing and clean that tot up! Otherwise, what I am about to write WILL happen to you!) I looked down and Jack has chocolate all over the carpet and ALL over his face and body. I thought, "Chocolate? When did I have chocolate in the room?" except it wasn't chocolate, folks, it was baby poo!!! He thought it was probably like mud or whatever, so he rubbed it all over his face, his mouth, his body, the carpet... Naturally, being the nurturing and loving mother I am, I scream and start to dry heave. I grab Jack and take him to his room to clean him up but I couldn't because there was this never ending supply of poop coming out of him and he kept laughing. Kevin gets the shower started and we plop him in. Yes, we hosed him down like cattle. He hates it when we hose him down, but believe me, it was the only way to sanitize him. After that, we gave him a nice bath (he loves baths!) During his bath, I grab his toothbrush, baby toothpaste, and I scrub his mouth down. I kept trying to think of ways I could disinfect it, but they all involved chemicals and fire which just doesn't sound very safe for a baby. So, I got it as clean as I could and am hoping for the best.

Hey Summer, Katie, Brenna, and Connie: Enjoy your new baby boys!

Lesson #3 in Raising a Boy: Boys Love Poop!